Linguistic Commentary
Writing to Persuade


The purpose of my piece is to persuade people to lie, or as put in my introduction “you to fully understand and appreciate the benefits of lying.” I want to broaden people’s mind on the subject, swaying them from the general view that lying is wrong.

The audience I have chosen are teenagers, aged 13-17. As I aim to change their minds from something they had previously learnt from a time not that long ago. Also, I will be talking about issues possibly too mature for a younger audience i.e. the war and issues that they will be able to relate with i.e. relationship break-ups.

My model material is a monologue/speech by comedian Craig Ferguson I have also done this in the style of a speech to be able to talk to the audience directly, in a conversational tone so that my point is given across in a relatable way. Like my model material, the general tone of my speech is light-hearted as seen in my introduction “Now first of all, I don’t want to build up this image in your head of an angel on one shoulder and…me on the other.” There is a slight comedic undertone, building the writer/reader relationship as it gives the audience a relaxed atmosphere to be able to absorb more serious points towards the end of the speech.

For my lexical choice I have used colloquial English “they ain’t no Rocky”, as it is language more familiar to my chosen audience, and any points made should be more understandable and easier to sympathise rather than using Standard English, further building the writer/reader relationship. As seen in the above quote, I have used examples of popular culture (Rocky Balboa and Harry Potter) and scenarios recognisable/sympathetic to my audience, so that the reader is able to visualise/grasp the situation clearer.

I have followed a similar structure as my model material, as both start off using casual points “White lies” which will be no surprise if you have told one. And this pretty much covers “Does my bum look big in this?” I did this to avoid putting my argument across too strongly/forcibly, in order for the reader to allow the speech gradually to be taken in easily. From this I built my speech to a crescendo by changing my topic and tone to a much more serious point “Many non-Jewish people risked their lives…” the cohesion of the piece is “distorted” as it shifts from being light-hearted, in order to draw in the reader to a comfortable environment to being serious, in order to put the main point of the argument across.

I used topic loops, to reiterate or reinforce a point “At the start of my speech I told you that “So you went into primary school…” so that any key points/information isn’t lost by the reader and so that any confusion is reduced. To directly involve the reader I have used the pronoun “you” thus making the speech personal to them; towards the end of the speech I use the pronoun “we” more to make the writer/reader relationship more personal.

Throughout my speech I have avoided to use imperatives, as the aim of my piece isn’t to force people into lying, it is more to do with understanding why lying can be good or to persuade people to lie responsibly. I have also used a number of questions to capture the reader’s attention and keep them focused and thinking about the speech.

When I wanted the reader to visualise a situation in their imagination I used emotive language “staggering 100 feet high” and “tear-stained mascara.” I also did this for comic effect and to make situations more real and personal for the reader.

The general sentence structure I have used is simple and fairly short so that the pace of the speech is quick and moving keeping the reader’s interest. Having said this when I gave anecdotes I tended to use longer sentences, slowing down the pace so that I was able to include more detail for the reader to again build up a clearer image. At times I used very simple and short sentences or phrases to give impact as the pace is interrupted abruptly “There was silence.” And “One lie.” So that the reader is taken aback and the point changes from being just an anecdote to reality.

For my final draft I changed my speech by removing “Lying to entertain” as I felt its purpose and contribution wasn’t crucial to the piece as a whole and would weaken the rest of the speech. Similarly I also had a concluding paragraph “I’d like end by bringing you back to the start of my speech where I said, “Hopefully by the time you have listened to me you will be lying as you find it is right.”” That I removed as my present last paragraph as it has a “shock” element to it, due to the nature of it. Had I kept my concluding paragraph it would have undermined the enormity of the message given across by my present paragraph.

In conclusion, my speech begins with a welcoming light-hearted tone, using subtle comedic features or popular culture and relatable scenarios. That builds into a serious tone to broadcast the crucial part of the speech using a very direct and real example.